Monthly Archives: February 2013

Privilege: Names as mountains to climb

At the moment #blackpeoplenames is trending on Twitter.  Not so long ago #whitepeoplenames was trending.  

Mass trending topics are a good reminder that there are a lot of teenagers on Twitter. Digging deep into them reminds me of all the stuff I didn’t like about high school – but I digress.

One comment that kept repeating for #whitepeoplenames was “Any name that you can find on those key chains” and for #blackpeoplenames “Any name that you can’t find on those key chains”. 

I remember as a kid going up to those bookmarks and key chains and hoping I’d find my name.  I never did, but each time I hoped and each time that familiar disappointment kicked in.  I wasn’t alone – I had a friend who had a common name spelled in an uncommon way, she never found her name spelled properly either.  

The world isn’t perfect, and never will be, but I do wonder what that does to children.  You’re told from a very young age by commerce (which seems like the world at that age) that your name is weird.  Parents say unique, kids at school say dumb.  I was lucky – mine was different but sounded mainstream enough that I rarely got teased for my name.  (In fact the only rhyme that one of my third grade classmates could find for it was lasagna, which apparently wasn’t any fun because he never repeated it.)

But what about those kids with names that are more different than most of their classmates’ names?  Or children named after a celebrated relative or whose name can identify them as the sixth generation of their family? Not to say that parents shouldn’t name their kids whatever they want (I have every intention of inflicting a family name on one of my future children that my mother would rather I didn’t), but I do think parents should at least consider what they are doing. What privileges are you giving to your child, or taking away from your child, by the name that they are given?

Each person makes of their name what they will (some people I’ve known with some names make me dislike the name…until I meet someone else with the same name who is wonderful) but some names are mountains to climb.  The least a parent who blesses their child with Mt Everest can do is also teach the child how to hike.

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Privilege is still on my mind, so there may be another one of these to come…

 

We gonna get our ham…

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Hambone (see an earlier post) has been on my mind lately.  Recent events, a Roots marathon…a lot of things bring it up those ideas.  Hey Hambone – we got some ham!

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I’ve been a bit busy lately.  My grandfather passed away a week ago last Sunday.  Although it was expected (he’d been sick for awhile) and he had lived a long life (he was nearly 90), it’s still…a thing. 

So while getting back to work on this blog, I thought I’d share a story from him.  He wrote this a few years ago, I’ve just transcribed it.  As you can see, stubbornness runs deep in my family. 

In 1943 I bought a 1939 Chevy car on a Friday.  Paid cash.

That Saturday night it was two carloads of white men came to my mother’s house.  Told her to tell me to have the car back to them Sunday morning.

I did.

I asked them to return my money.  They wanted to charge me $8500 for keeping the car two days.

Remember I paid cash for the car, therefore I did not owe them anything.  When I finished talking with them, they were more than glad to return all my money.

One Saturday evening my brother Bennie and I was up town (that’s what we call it – up town).  Three white men push my brother into the street.  He came and told me.  I went with him.  He pointed them out.  I waited in a ally for them. I had piled some bricks and watch for them to come pass.  They did in about 45 minutes.  The rest [is] history.

Not long after that I came to Trenton.  My mother had just about had enough of me.  I think she thought the same thing would happen to me that happened to my Grandfather.

3 Feb 1921: Grandfather Jim was lynched because he would not dance.

The white man pulled out a gun and ordered my Grandfather to dance.

My Grandfather took the gun and shot him.

This happened three years before I was born.